my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
