walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
