Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
