My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
