wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
