im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
