Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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