FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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