3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize