Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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