ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize