I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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