Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
