I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
