is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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