Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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