direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
