Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
