Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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