I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
