I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
