its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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