i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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