just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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