thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
