Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
