Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords

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(925): View more from California

You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

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(845): View more from New York

Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success

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(425): View more from Washington

It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.

(425): View more from Washington

Not including when spray tanning

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(309): View more from Illinois

Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!

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(719): View more from Colorado

the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.

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