Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
