I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
