check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
