He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
