It's Friday. Sex?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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