Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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