I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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