Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize