well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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