Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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