You're so nebulous sometimes
I bet he comes in French.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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