I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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