Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
