dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
