I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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