I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
