if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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