My balls are so social today.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
