I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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