New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
