How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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