So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
