Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
