I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
