turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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