why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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