it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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