dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
