Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
