if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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