Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
