Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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