I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
