Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
