I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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