Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize