My brain says no but my pants say off.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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