In the future we'll all be gay
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
