It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
