HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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