Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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