I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
