You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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