K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
