I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
