We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
