Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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