Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
