im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
