For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
